Friday, December 16, 2005


There were a few little caramels left over from yesterday's Turtle Cake.

They were fucking, FUCKING good.

I have a new obsession.

I could put caramel on EVERYTHING, including my doorknobs, in the bottom of all my glasses, inside all christmas cards, like little mints on the pillows here at the clinic, instead of toilet paper (hmm maybe not that one), wrapped around marshmallows, nuts, kholrabi, curds.

Caramel. I would like to replace my blood with caramel. It has natural clotting agents. It is a great source of energy. It even sounds nicer than blood. caramel. blood. caramel. blood.

Caramel wins, hands down.


  1. Ah, you could put it on the chicken cake you'll make for April.

  2. eeeeewwww, chickencake.... but caramelchickencake, hmmm....

  3. caramel chicken cake. huh.

  4. I CANNOT wait for this chickaramel delight! Will chocolate and bacon be involved also? O please do not omit to invite me when it's ready!

    And now for something completely different.

    It's a blog etiquette question, I suppose: I wanted to tell you about something that doesn't relate directly. Not any big deal, just baking-related nattering. A) Can I do that here or is email more appropriate or should I just bugger off and leave you alone? B) Want to know what it is?

  5. 1. please never bugger off and leave me alone. you are too funny!

    2. you can spew about anything you want, as long as you play nice!

    3. yes, i do want to know what it is!

    i am going to end all sentences in exclamation marks! what do you think about that!

    tonight we talked about strip clubs that serve sushi, you know, you get your roll, and your roll! all the fish is fresh!

  6. Dear ECL: Thanks for your fast friendly reply. It's not a big thing, just wanted to say how, inspired by your blog, I've obtained a citizens' copy of R.L. Beranbaum's Bread Bible. WOW. I just wiped down the old KitchenAid and have a focaccia dough rising as I type. The photos! The drawings! The chemistry! The book weighs 14 pounds! Speaking of which, I weighed everything for the focaccia except the yeast since my scale doesn't register TENTHS of grams. So thanks a ton for the clue-in to this All-time Righteous Goddess of Baking. Now if I can just get down my icy front steps to the rosemary patch . . .

    Query: if I want to cook a caramelized (say the magic word and winna hunnadollaz!) apple tart whose recipe calls for a 12" round ovengoing skillet and I've only got a 9-incher (roughly: it's 8 on the bottom and 10 on top; how the heck does one measure such a thing?), would doing the math to reduce the ingredients proportionately work? I suspect the chemistry overrides the math in such cases, but but but I really want to make this thing. Would be grateful if you'd opine.

    Not so sure about the sushi strip clubs tho. So how did the cookies turn out?


  7. Thursday,

    I am more than happy to point you in the direction of dear RLB. She is a goddess!

    About your question...I am lazy at heart and hate math, so I would make the whole filling and just use the extra to pour over my french vanilla ice cream while I waited for the tart to cook. Or I'd make a little free formed tartlette to eat right out of the oven with said ice cream.

    You COULD ask RLB herself, have you checked out her blog yet? Anyone can submit their question about baking. I've a link to her site, so's you can get there right now.

    How's that foccacia? I also have her pie and pastry bible, but not the bread one. She is writing a new cake book with a picture for EVERY cake. The love for her just continues!

    My cookies. I made a mention about them in the next post. They came out kind of okay. Great shortbready texture, but not a whole lot of flavor. Oh well. I'll still eat them. Thanks for asking.