Day 3

Due to the maddening fact that her sinuses have clogged up with phlegm, ECL has decided that the time has finally come to deal with her everpresent sugar addiction.

She has gone off sugar.

So far, no one has died and the structural integrity of her apartment remains intact.

ECL has decided a two week moratorium on all things sweet and yummy may be sufficient enough to reset her body chemistry, but she realizes it might take a little longer than that.

just ONE cookie! just ONE cookie! i'll make it healthy, with rolled oats and nuts as long as i get chocolate chips! JUST ONE COOKIE PLEASE!

Obviously, ECL will refrain from baking during this time. Which makes recipies like this one for Barcelona Brownies cruel and unusual punishment.

brownies? just one? they're so little; they would hardly even count!

If you come into contact with ECL while she is "getting healthy" please approach her cautiously and from an angle. Do NOT come straight at her, especially if you are, or have been, eating something scrumptious and sweet. Please keep loud noises to a minimum and keep moving; a moving target is harder to hit. Whatever you do, do not give her any sugar, no matter what she may tell you. She may try very hard to get you to give her some; she may trick you. She may lie and cheat and insult your mother, your dog, and everything else you hold dear. Please, do not give in to her. Just endure the physical beating you are more than likely to receive and smile (inwardly; don't let her see) because you are helping your friend.

who's fucking idea was this anyway?

Comments

  1. WORK IT! I am tempted to join you in sugarless solidarity. But. . .as soon as the 64oz of Dr. Pibb a had at lunch when VBM took me to Burgerville wears off, I may not be so willing. I've gone off the junk before, so I have some sympathy.

    (please don't hit me.)

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  2. jimmysam, i won't hit you if you give me some of your dr. pibber. do you think i can still have burgerville? there's no sugar in chocolate hazelnut milkshakes, is there?

    thanks for your sympathy, my friend.

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  3. Anonymous9/3/06 19:10

    Oh, you are so brave. Zetta made me give up sugar a couple years ago, and it was not fun. On the bright side though, it did break the addiction. I still enjoy it from time to time in the form of dessert with friends, but don't want it every day. So, be strong my friend. I believe in you!

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  4. thanks everyone for your support. i am looking forward to breaking this addiction. i'm day 5 now; over halfway through the first week! tomorrow is The Big Test: i am going to a birthday party and i can't have any birthday cake. boo! hiss! waah!
    the grocery store is the hardest place: there is sugar EVERYWHERE.
    i am only intent on cutting out the processed sugars, but i am pretty much staying away from the natural sweeteners too. but i am allowing myself to eat fruit like crazy.
    i seem to crave a specific type of sweet thing a day. today it is cap'n crunch.
    last night i dreamt i ate vanilla ice cream with hot fudge and after eating it i was all pissed off because i couldn't stay off sugar for a measly two weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So many people don't realize how sugar effects the sinuses. You're one of the lucky ones to figure it out. Now the hard part.
    I feel for you too. I have been struggling with my sugar addiction on and off for years. If you truly are addicted you have no wiggle room tomorrow. Don't even look at the cake. I relapsed on birthday cake last October and that event sent me into a week long binge of dove bars. I went about 2 months without sugar. I paid myself $5.00 a day everyday I didn't eat sugar and put the money in a vacation fund. I proceeded to eat a lot of sugar on that vacation. Sugar is the evil...it's big brothers way of controlling our behavior and minds. You will get so much clearer and stronger the further you're away from the white refined sugar. Much strength and courage to you ECL - may true healing begin.

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  6. Wow! I had no idea. Good for you! I too had a wicked detox off of sugar, and now for the most part can't stand it. I have very little tolerance for the sweets. If I can do it so can you!!!! Once you truly detox from it you will feel stronger and more vibrant. Good luck!!

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  7. thanks, everyone for your words of encouragement!

    i've already had some good feedback from my roommate and boyfriend about how i look better, energy is clearer, moods are more even...

    DAMMIT. i always knew intellectually that sugar was really bad for me, but now i have proof. DAMN!

    ReplyDelete

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