Thursday, November 17, 2005

"Make Me Something With Chocolate!"

I get that request a lot.

What if I coat a piece of shit in chocolate? Does that count?

Sorry, I'm a little sick today.

I can't stand death by chocolate anything. I don't get it. People order the death by chocolate and then they take two bites and complain about how rich it is and can't finish it! Dumbasses!! Then they just want more and more bites of my pleasantly chocolately, but not deathly, dessert, which they won't get! Fools. Go accept the responsibility for what you have ordered and eat that fuckin abomination of chocolate and deal with your insulin shock.

I have two requests for a chocolate something out there that I will take care of after Thanksgiving, and thankfully neither of them wants death by anything. Maybe one of them will get the chocolate truffle cake with the layer of cheesecake. That was some good chocolate shit.

August 20, 2005
Annmarie’s Goodbye Barbeque
Flourless Decadence
Chocolate Truffle Cake with a layer of Cheesecake
Served with lightly sweetened vanilla whipped cream and raspberry puree

Annmarie was worried that the Truffle Cake on its own would be too much—so she was wondering what we could do about that. She suggested a layer of whipped cream but I told her that it wouldn’t work. (You can’t bake whipped cream…what would that do, anyway?) So she suggested cream cheese and I thought—YES!!! A layer of cheesecake would be EXCELLENT. So that is what we did.

For the truffle cake, I used 200g extra bittersweet Lindt chocolate and 254g 70% bittersweet. Good combination. Good texture, too. I didn’t do the anal egg measuring. I didn’t think it was that important for a truffle cake.

I made the cheesecake exactly like The Book calls for, and I was worried that the lemon juice wouldn’t marry well with the chocolate, but it was okay. It would have been better without. Maybe with Grand Marnier or even just more vanilla. I really didn’t need to make the entire cheesecake recipe but I decided that hey, why not? Then we can have little cheesecakes. Glutton.

I made the cheesecake batter first, since it didn’t need any eggs to help it rise. It sat nicely nearby as I made the chocolate cake. I was very pleased with my multitasking…things got done very quickly…after running to the store for more sugar…and more sour cream… (well Annmarie went to the store for sour cream).

I spooned the cheesecake batter in and I didn’t want more than one inch but I did more than that, which really was okay. Then I spooned the chocolate truffle over that and spread it over in a nice layer and then baked it according to the truffle directions…which is a lot less than the cheesecake directions so I was worried that the cheesecake would be really soft and runny. It is soft, but not runny.

With the cheesecake layer the whipped cream was superfluous but the raspberry sauce/puree was still really important.

The chocolate cake was really nice and fluffy and wonderfully flavored. Yum!


  1. I am one of those fucking chocolate people. I do not want death. But I do want good. And I know. You know. Good.
    And you are no good.
    Oh Evil Cake Lady! Your blog is so funny and your cake is so amazing!!
    You can make me any cake you want to make. Even if it ain't chocolate.
    I love you, Evil Cake Lady!

  2. Oh my little chupacabra, I know you are not one of the deathly chocolate people, even if you used to wear black and write bad poetry.

    I have great chocolately plans for you, my dear. Just you wait.

  3. Sod the chocolate, I want something that is dairy (milk & egg)-free, that doesn't taste like monkey balls or chupacabra.

    And yeah, Zetta has it pretty much going on, doesn't she!?!

  4. Goddamn, are you saying that you want a freaking HEALTY cake?? Are you saying you want TOFU in your cake?? Who do you think I am, a health care practitioner??? I make cakes that taste good, not good for you! Geez.

  5. Ha! Tofu is evil, (not evil the cool way you are - even though I haven't technically met you). Soy must be destroyed. No, I just get quite ill with milk & egg products - ever since the vacinations I got in the military.

    Oh, should you ever have need of a dairy-free cake. The secret is coconut milk!!! Bad to da bone!